Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

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I know who the president of Turkey really is

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

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I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Why is the mainstream media, traditionally liberal except for Fox, not reporting on Trump like he's a traditional candidate who has ideas, values, and a concern for the common good?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

What are some examples of unofficial acts by presidents?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

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I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

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I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Does sleeping with earbuds cause ear pain?

I actually pay taxes

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

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I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

How can the K-pop fandom have such a toxic mentality?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Iusto et ipsum nesciunt est qui.

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

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I have complete contempt for traitorism

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I can count

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I can read

I see through liars

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?